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May 13th, 2012
 | 11:56 pm - Holy Moly, it's been a long time
Wow. It's been forever since I last updated. What's new?
1--My grandmother had a pretty serious health scare and I really thought we might lose her. But she surprised everyone and got out of the hospital to spend Mother's day at home. Hooray!
2--I got another tattoo. It says "blessed and lucky" which is how I feel most of the time. I got it as a reminder for when I'm not feeling blessed and lucky. It helps.
3--I started Weight Watchers again. I did it a few years back and really liked it. I stopped following it, did okay for awhile, and then started putting all the weight back on. I feel good on WW. I'm eating better in general, and I like that.
4--I'm going to visit my family in MA in a couple of weeks. A couple of weeks after that I'll be going to San Diego with my brother, who is planning to move there. I'm helping him figure out where he might want to get a place.
5--I just bought my third pair of Dansko "Sissy" sandals. I've become someone who just keeps buying the same thing over and over. I'm okay with that.
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December 31st, 2011
| 11:06 pm - meme meme meme
1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Hung out in an art museum when it was closed, and walked around exhibits by myself.
2. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Coworkers, FB friends.
3. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
A NEW CAR!!! I've been trying to decide when to replace my 1999 Saturn. 2012 could be the year.
4. What events from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I spent a week in Colorado with my Dad and little brother. That was pretty cool.
5. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I planned and executed a party in another country. Granted, it was a pretty simple event, but still. I did it, and it went well.
6. What was your biggest failure?
I can't really think of anything I failed at. Maybe I didn't challenge myself enough.
7. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I think my toe in December. I slammed my foot into something and it hurt so bad I couldn't walk for two day, and it continued to hurt for two weeks.
8. What was the best thing you bought?
Levi's Bold Curve jeans. They look amazing. Worth money.
9. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Pablo, for continuing to be awesome in so many ways.
10. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Various people at various time. But, these same people also amazed me at other times. They're human, it works that way.
11. Where did most of your money go?
Food. I seriously need to spend less at the grocery store. I also spent more on cosmetics than I ever have before. Thanks, Birchbox! But, I also paid down a chunk of my student loans.
12. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Going on a road trip with the older of my two younger brothers.
13. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
Same. I'm always happy.
b) thinner or fatter?
I weigh more. I don't really care.
c) richer or poorer?
At this time last year I was temporarily unemployed, so I guess I'm richer now.
14. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Knitting. I think about knitting more than I actually knit.
15. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Goofing off on the internet.
16. How did you spend Christmas?
Chilling at home with Pablo and the pets. It was awesome. And we watched all of the extended editions of Lord of the Rings trilogy this week.
17. Did you fall in love in 2011?
Well, besides Pablo, I fell in love my new dog, Josie.
18. Thing you did most often?
Goofed off online
19. What was your favorite TV program?
Jeopardy. We DVR them and watch them while we eat dinner.
20. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I don't hate anyone.
21. What was the best book you read?
Its sad how little I read this year. I did read all the Hunger Games books, and Girl with the Dragon Tattoo trilogy.
22. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I listen to the soft rocking sounds of the 70s while I'm at work, and I'm okay with that.
23. What did you want and get?
My job at Lucasfilm (again). My job at the art museum.
24. What did you want and not get?
I wanted my dog Otis to live to be 112, but that didn't happen and he died this year at 15 1/2. I miss him every day.
25. What did you do on your birthday, and was it a major milestone?
My birthday fell on Labor Day weekend, so we had three days off (yea!) and went out to dinner and stuff. We also went to Disneyland, but we didn't go until October, because it worked better for our schedule. It was a major milestone. I turned a year that ends in zero.
26. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
More hot chocolate. Doesn't that sounds good?
27. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Lazy chic. Dark jeans, motorcycle boots, striped shirts.
28. What kept you sane?
Pablo. Having a dog to walk every day.
29. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
It changes all the time.
30. What political issue stirred you the most?
Women's rights.
31. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
If you act totally confident about what you're doing, other people will just assume you know what you're doing. And you probably DO know what you're doing, so get out of your own way and do it.
32. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
All I'm saying pretty baby
la la love you don't mean maybe
Okay, that's just the first thing that came to mind.
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December 27th, 2011
 | 10:20 pm - A New Year's Eve story
This is copied and pasted from a message board. Just so you know.
On NYE 2003 I had been dating my boyfriend for six weeks. We planned to spend the night at home, with a pizza. We went to the bar/pizza place to get our pizza, but by the time it was ready it was almost midnight, so we ate it there.
Midnight arrives and the bar staff starts passing out champagne. Before long, I am drunk. I don't drink much, so a couple of glasses of champagne = drunk me. Unfortunately, instead of being a festive drunk, I turned into a maudlin drunk. I started saying to my boyfriend "I can tell you'll never marry me. I'm not the kind of girl you'd marry." Etc, drunken etc.
Fortunately, my boyfriend was a completely nice guy and when I woke up the next morning hung over and really embarrassed, he was like " . . . yeah, that happened." He took me out for pho and never made a big deal about my weepy drama.
While I wouldn't recommend this as good new relationship move, we are married now. If you ever act like this and the person you're with doesn't bail, you may have a keeper.
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December 12th, 2011
| 10:55 pm - A random story
XOJane has story today about working in an adult video store, and it reminded me of this story.
Years ago, one of my brother's good friends had a job in an adult video store and my brother used to go visit him a work once in a while. At the time, my brother drove a very distinctive vintage car.
Around the same time, a local guy would frequently hang out in front of the store to protest it's ungodliness, or something. The protesting guy made the newspaper. When the story ran, there was a picture of the adult video store with my brother's very distinctive car parked right in front.
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September 28th, 2011
 | 09:40 pm - I just made brownies
It's after 9:30 at night and I'm moments away from pulling a pan of brownies out of the oven.
Homemade brownies. Not from a mix. Melt the squares of unsweetened chocolate in the butter honest to god brownies.
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June 5th, 2011
| 11:01 pm - Thoughts on baking
I can't think of a time in my life when I wasn't baking, so I'm guessing I started pretty young. Certainly by the time I was a preteen I was baking on my own, with no assistance from my mom. Later I went to culinary school and worked (briefly) in a bakery. Later still I assisted the pastry chef at Skywalker Ranch, making the huge cookies we were famous for.
The point is, I've been doing it so long that I have no idea what it's like to not be able to do it. I just take it for granted. I can read a recipe and think "this direction is BS, there's no reason to do that." And think, well, non-experienced bakers don't know how to do that. How often does a non-experienced baker get tripped up by a poorly written recipe? Or do something that's completely not necessary because a recipe tells them to? Or not know how to make a basic substitution?
I'm making these brownies right now. The recipe calls for melting the butter in a double boiler. Although, oddly, it says to put heat proof bowl in a skillet of water. A skillet? Who makes a double boiler in a skillet? Anyway, there's no need to use a double boiler at all. All the recipe is having you do is melt the butter with the chocolate. That can be done in the microwave, easier and quicker. Granted, that's a minor quibble. But I'm imagining a novice baker going, wait, I need a skillet to make brownies?
I also never use a timer for anything. I think it's far more important to be able to "read" your baking than it is to pull something out of the oven in 15 minutes. Relying on too heavily on the times listed in the recipe can get you in trouble if your oven isn't calibrated the same as the recipe testers, or you use different pans, or any of the other factors that come into play. Sometimes I read the comments on a recipe and I find things like "this recipe is terrible! I baked this cookies for exactly 10 minutes like it says and they were way too dark!"
But here's the thing. I can bake as easily as breathing. "User error" isn't often a problem for me, and when it is, I know what went wrong. But for so many other things in life, I don't have this "easy as breathing" skill. And I can get so ridiculously frustrated by things I think should be easy but I just can't figure them out.
Earlier tonight I purchased an MP3 album on Amazon, then spent the next 45 minutes trying to figure out where the heck it was on my computer. I was pretty close to losing it, because I had failed a such a simple task. I couldn't figure it out and I was pissed. I did something millions of people do every day and I had failed. I was angry with technology. I was stupid.
I eventually figured it. I hadn't actually completed the download, which is why I couldn't find it on my computer--it simply wasn't there. It was an awful lot of drama for what "should" have been a simple thing.
And that's what brings me to baking. How many people never get past the "this recipe doesn't work" phase and learn to bake with confidence and joy? I see products in the grocery store like individual microwavable cups of "baked" desserts and I think "who buys this junk? why not just bake?" But I think I know now. People who've had baking experiences like my attempting to download an album experience.
For everyone who finds an activity as easy as breathing, there's someone who finds it rage inducing.
Maybe there's a tech savvy someone out there who could use baking lessons.
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May 28th, 2011
| 06:15 pm - My dreams involve baked goods
I took a nap this afternoon and had dream about a Cinnabon. In my dream, Cinnabon was like a stand-alone fast food restaurant with tables. It was decorated in that sort of light wood and brass style of a TGI Friday's, or similar.
While I was there I noticed signs that it was sort of a born-again Christian organization, and all the decor was references to the bible. I also got the vibe that all the employees had to be part of a "good values" type program. There were signs everywhere like "Number 5: work with integrity!" It didn't seem particular negative, so in the dream I was just like, huh, I didn't know Cinnabon was run like this.
In my dream, everything in the shop was fully premade and portioned. I watched a worker open a package that contained dough for exactly a dozen buns and another with just enough glaze for the buns. Somehow, the worker knew that I was a baker, and she started telling me how their system was better. Than in a regular bake shop, mistakes could be made, but at Cinnabon they would always have a perfect product. I didn't feel like arguing that as a trained baker, I was capable of baking with consistency and didn't need everything premade for me. I could tell that she as about to try selling me on their system, and I just wasn't in the mood.
And then, for some strange reason, I grabbed a towel and started cleaning surfaces, even though I didn't work there. I figured if I was going to chat with an employee, I should do some work, too.
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April 19th, 2011
| 12:50 am - Writer's Block: Ticket to ride
I ask this kind of thing to Pablo all the time. I'm always planning dream vacations.
Among our current picks for dream vacation: Australia, Hawaii, a multi-city Europe trip, South Africa.
I really really really want to go back to Paris. Today we were talking about going to Austria. I want to go to London, since I haven't been since I was 16.
South Africa's been on my mind a lot, ever since I met a couple of South Africans at a dinner party a couple of years ago. They made it sounds really appealing. And a couple of weeks ago I had lunch with an artist from South Africa, and he had some really interesting stories about his experiences, both good and bad.
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April 17th, 2011
| 11:33 pm
Why do I wait so long between updates? I actually read LJ every day. I just never get around to posting.
My last post was about getting our new dog, Josie. I am happy to say she has fit into our family just splendidly. She's a total sweetie. She loves to go to the off-leash dog park and run around with other dogs. It makes me so happy that she gets along easily with other dogs.
We've been taking her for classes at the SF SPCA, and she's learning a lot. She's pretty barking during the class. A sort of "pay attention to me!" bark that is accompanied by tail wagging. It's not aggressive, but it's still annoying. We're working on it.
For the past month I was back at Lucasfilm working in Licensing. I was filling in for an assistant who was on vacation. Even though I was a coordinator in my last job, I didn't really do a lot of admin work. And while being an admin isn't my dream job, I feel like I learned some good skills this past month. I now know how to do calendaring for an busy exec. I've already signed up with a temp agency, and I'm looking for summer work until my main events gig comes back.
The sweater I started a couple of months ago is almost done, I'm just doing the sleeves now. I'm knitting them simultaneously, so with any luck they should be a matched pair. Then to block it and sew on the buttons, and wear it!
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March 10th, 2011
| 12:02 am - Meet the new girl
This is Josephine Tano, aka Josie.
We adopted her from a senior dog rescue group two weeks ago. There's some debate if she's actually a senior though. She has white on her face, but her teeth are a young dog's teeth. And she definitely has a puppy's energy.
I absolutely adore her.
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February 12th, 2011
 | 06:51 pm - Otis 1995 -2001
Otis came into my life as a puppy, back in late summer 1995. I was living with my dad after graduating from college, and dad thought I could use a dog. One day he came home with a squirmy little black and white puppy. We debated for a while what to name him, and Dad came up with Otis. Otis spent the first night at home sleeping in a milk crate lined with a towel. He stayed next to my bed so I could reach out and pet him all night.
I lived with my dad for the next year, and then I moved into my own place. Otis stayed with Dad, and I came to visit him at least once a week. All my days off from work were spent with Otis. I'd pick him up and we'd drive to Plymouth were we could walk around by the water.
He grew to be a big boy, over 80lbs at his biggest, and he had so much energy. He used to go with my dad to work at the Stop and Shop warehouse and hang out in the covered back of his pickup truck. All day long, the guys at Stop and Shop would take the their breaks and let Otis out to run around in the woods that surrounded the warehouse. He also like to run around the cranberry bogs that surround my hometown.
In 2000, I moved to CA, and Otis stayed in Massachusetts with Dad. It absolutely broke my heart to leave him, but he had a good home with dad. Every phone call home started with "How's Otis?" and every trip home the first thing I did was go see my dog. The first time I was afraid he might not remember me. Instead, I was met with a dog who was so excited to see me he was practically jumping out of his skin.
In 2007, Dad and I decided to move Otis out to San Francisco to live with me. The winters were taking their toll on him, and he was having trouble getting up the stairs to Dad's second story apartment. I was lucky to have an understanding landlady, and even more lucky that Pablo was willing to take on a giant 12 year old dog. Otis got the okay from his vet, got loaded into the world's biggest dog crate, and made his way with Dad to San Francisco.
At that time, I thought Otis might live another year, if I was lucky. Big dogs don't generally live much past 12. But moving to CA turned out to be the best thing for him, and Otis thrived. He learned to be a city dog, and to take walks in Golden Gate Park. He made lots of new friends, and even learned to live with cats.
The past six months had been hard on him. He had more and more trouble sitting down, and in the past two months he had trouble getting up. He started having accidents in the house. But every time I thought he was ready to go, he perked back up and had a few more awesome, energetic weeks.
All the people I've talked to told me I'd just know when it was time for him to go. This morning I just knew. He had an accident in the living room, and he seemed unable to stand up even with my help. We got him into the backyard, and he fell again. Since he was in a flower bed and seemed comfortable, we just let him lay there. Pablo brought me a blanket and I laid down next to Otis and talked to him. I pet his head and told him he was a good boy and that I'd always take care of him. I've been telling him "I'll always take care of you" for years, and I meant it.
We called the vet, and unfortunately no one was able to make a house call. Pablo lifted him up and got him into the car, and we made the short drive to the vet. They had a blanket on the floor for Otis, and we laid him down. I got on the floor with him, our faces together, and talked to him. Pablo and I were both holding him while the vet gave him the injection, then told us he was gone.
I had a lot of dogs growing up, but I can honestly say none of them touched my heart the same way Otis did. He was truly the best dog ever, and I loved him with all my heart.
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January 31st, 2011
 | 08:02 pm - Writer's Block: The name game
Manraysy is my second LJ user name. I was originally Chefgrrl. At the time, I was working as a cook, and I'd been using "chefgirl" as a name for years. For awhile, I owned the domain chefgirl.com.
Anyway, time passed, and I was no longer a chef, and the grrl just seemed silly.
Manraysky has two meanings, or three, I guess. The first is that it's from an R.E.M. lyric, from Feeling Gravity's Pull
It's a Man Ray kind of sky,
Let me show you what I can do with it.
The second and third at that when I was in college I used to go to a Goth club in Cambridge called Man Ray. And Man Ray is, of course, a Surrealist photographer.
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January 29th, 2011
January 26th, 2011
 | 02:01 pm - Writer's Block: Breaking the habit
Is it just me, or is this question ridiculous? I like how it implies the writer has more than one "debilitating" insecurity.
Gosh, how can I pick just one?
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January 24th, 2011
 | 07:45 pm - Foodie
I ran out of bread and I forgot to stop by the bakery when I walked to Clement St. I decided against walking to Safeway, because I'm just not thrilled with their bread choices. They have fancy bread that's all sour dough, which I'm not in the mood for, or lasts-forever bread in a plastic bag crap.
I wanted a grilled cheese sandwich--so I'm baking bread.
Can't wait for it to be done.
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January 23rd, 2011
| 05:47 pm - Noro Sweater
Here's my progress on the Top Down Raglan I am working on. Since it is being knit top down, that part that is on the bottom of the picture is the neckline.
I am still working the increases, and I hope to get the sleeves separated from the body by this evening.
This represents one week of work, with any me knitting anywhere from 15 minutes to several hours each day.
Here's another, which gives the shape of the sweater better. The color is more accurate in the first picture.
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January 18th, 2011
| 03:46 pm - Sign that I am a true friend and all around good person
I just offered to buy some yarn to help someone reach the free shipping minimum.
Sainthood, right?
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January 16th, 2011
 | 10:43 pm - Knitting wisdom
One thing I've learned in my 20-odd years of knitting--if it's bothering you at the beginning, it's not going to stop bothering you as you go on. Better off ripping it out and starting again then soldiering on and not liking the end product.
I just started a top down raglan. The pattern for starting the collar in 1x1 rib, then switching to stockinette. It doesn't suggest using a smaller needle for the ribbing. I cast on with the same size needle, and sure enough, when I got to the body of the sweater, the ribbing looks off. Too fat for the rest of the fabric. So, off the needles it comes and I'll restart with a smaller needle.
I'll post pics later, but I'm excited about this sweater. I bought 7 skeins of Noro Yuzen on sale about a couple of months ago, and now I'm finally ready to use it. First I had to finish my holiday knitting, then I had to decide what to make. I found the pattern I wanted to use yesterday and started knitting during the Golden Globes.
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January 12th, 2011
 | 09:20 pm - Secret confession
In the past month, I've become way too interested in Millionaire Matchmaker.
**dies a little**
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January 11th, 2011
 | 08:54 pm
Pablo and I are watching the bonus materials on The Social Network DVDs. David Fincher movie has awesome bonus material, especially in you're interested in the technical aspects of movie making.
Right now we're watching the scenes with the Winklevoss twins. Two actors were filmed, and then the face of one was used for both. It's very cool.
I'm also enjoying seeing all the scenes of Cambridge. I spent a lot of my youth hanging around Harvard Square, and then when I was in college I dated a guy attending Harvard. I have a real soft spot for Cambridge.
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manraysky's journal
